forgive me (not)

4 min read |

The question

My friend asked me this question. Based on your biblical understanding of God’s nature(both grace and justice), do you think that when non-believers pray for his forgiveness, it is granted to them? Even though they are not necessarily in that moment confessing Christ?

My attempt at an answer

It was a hard question. I wanted to start by understanding some questions within the question. Then, based on these, I can have a clear response. The questions I found are:

1. Who is the unbeliever?
2. What does the unbeliever mean when he “prays”?
3. What does the unbeliever mean by “forgiveness”?
4. What does the unbeliever hope to achieve from “praying” for “forgiveness”?

Who is the unbeliever?

The unbeliever is one who has not submitted to Christ as savior and Lord. Therefore, the unbeliever remains in a state of
hard heartedness Rom 2:5,
enmity & open rebellion to God Rom 8:7,
loving sin & darkness John 3:19,
and hating righteousness & truth John 8:44.

Now that we know his heart, What can come from such a heart?

What does the unbeliever mean when he “prays”

Since what comes from a man’s mouth comes from his heart Matt 15:18, these prayers will come from the heart we’ve seen our Bible describe above.

They will either be entirely selfish and self centered James 4:3,
Or they will be a result of the common grace of Good moral upbringing Matt 5:45 which stirs up some good attitudes like compassion, grief, empathy, etc.

Either way, they will always come from a root of rebellion, an ignorance or denial of foundational truth, and a lack or unwillingness at self examination, as we saw above.

So now, what about forgiveness?

What does the unbeliever mean by “forgiveness”?

While the unbeliever may pray for forgiveness, I think that he is participating in a kind of self-delusion.

Naturally, we pray forgiveness from those we love / respect / need, but have wronged. Now, since the unbeliever does not love nor respect nor “need” God, the only option is that he is praying forgiveness to a god of his own making, whom he loves / respects / needs (whether partially or wholly).

What does the unbeliever hope to achieve from “praying” for “forgiveness”?

There is another matter. The matter of why he prays for forgiveness.

For the Christian, she recognizes how great a God God is Psalm 113:5, how marvelous in the universe, how merciful Psalm 35:10, how just Micah 7:18, how majestic Exodus 15:11, how holy holy holy Isaiah 6:3. And this builds such a stark contrast to her and how sinful she is 1 John 1:8, wretched beyond words Jeremiah 17:9, poisoned in training and tongue Psalm 51:5, and deserving of destruction Romans 6:23. She falls to her knees in thankful praise of a God who saves man, a generous master, a faithful friend, a loving father.

And the unbeliever? He does not know God like she does, and he does not submit to him like she does. So when he prays for forgiveness, it can only be in line with his desires. His desire in such a situation is often to receive the mental / psychological respite or healing. This desire comes from the remains of a seared conscience that still tug at his heart telling him “There is something wrong! There is something wrong with you, and only God can fix it!”

He knows there’s something wrong he has done / he is. He knows he has wronged someone. And all this testify to God’s law written on our hearts, that should lead us to Him. To repent. The emotions he feels that lead him to pray are real, even though they may be from and/or to a wrong place.

The trouble (and I think the heart of this question) is that the sincere emotions – taken alone – can make a false case for genuine spiritual activity. If we also take into account what the Bible says, we can combine both emotion and thought to arrive at what I think is a more godly interpretation of the situation.

This interpretation would show us that not just any sorrow but godly sorrow will lead to repentance. 2 Corinthians 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. If he is sorry about sinning today, Christians encourage him to look further back as he’s sinned since his birth, and to look up and see the Holy one whom he has sinned against, and will look down in shame and beg for forgiveness, for salvation, God having granted repentance.

You’ve said a lot of things. What’s the final answer?

The answer is that, even though the sinner has asked for forgiveness, he has not done so honestly, even if he might have done so earnestly. It’s an all-or-nothing deal; either he is born again and forgiven of all sins – past, present, and future – or he is not born again and remains in judgment for all this sins – past, present, and future.

Side notes

1. The unbeliever should learn more Christian practice. The training of good Christian practice like prayer and fasting and whatnot is good for both us and unbelievers. It is not ideal, but it is the lesser of two evils. If the unbeliever should either learn to pray or to summon demons, I prefer he learns to pray. In the event he gets saved, his body already has the habit set, rather than him throwing away his omens and learning afresh to pray.
2. In contradiction, the unbeliever might be better off knowing less Christian practice. The more we know about God, the more responsible we are. The more judgment we are under. If he grows in knowledge of God and keeps rejecting God while keeping some Christian practices and ideas he likes, he’s under worse judgment on the last day!
3. In contradiction of the contradiction, the unbeliever might be better off knowing more than less, since God’s commands bring life, not just eternally, but even here on earth. Christian morals and ethics and ideology lead to societies flourishing. Antichrist ideas are increasingly popular nowadays and are proven to destroy societies.